Are you ready?
The thought of boudoir can be very exciting yet scary for most women. You see shoots of clients and read that they’re also real women, just like you, so you decide it’s something you’d like to try. That is an amazing way to look at it, but how do you know if you’re ready?
I have had emails from ladies whom have linked me to certain photos and say “I want to look JUST LIKE THAT!” Or they’d email me and ask if I can Photoshop their chin or thighs or breasts as much as possible to make them look like this other woman.
If you find yourself looking at the photos as an inspiration but also thinking “I wish I had her breasts, her stomach, her arms, her thighs, her butt…” then I can go ahead and tell you not to waste your time. Sounds mean, right? I promise you’ll thank me later. While I do photograph women of all shapes and sizes, the fundamental difference is that these women walk into the shoot knowing what they look like, LOVING what they look like, accepting what they look like and want to walk out looking just like themselves, only a better version. Boudoir photography is not about Photoshopping you to look like a super model. It is not about editing you so much that you look like another person. Think about it – how do you think you would feel if your significant other looked at your pictures and thought “She’s HOT, but who is that?!” because it doesn’t look anything like you. Now, that is not to say that YOU are not hot as well (he obviously thinks you are or he wouldn’t be with you), but self confidence goes a long way. We are not here to make you look like someone you are not. We are not here to magically make you lose 15 pounds. I can promise you (because it has happened more than once) that if you are not mentally prepared and happy with who YOU are that you will find every reason to not like your photos. Yes, 1,000 people could look at them and see that you are obviously beautiful and that they are edited in the same way that “the other lady” was, but you will not be able to see that. You will not enjoy your experience, you will think you’ve wasted your money and truth be told, everyone would have wasted their time.
Likewise, if you look at these photos and think “I want to look that confident because I KNOW I’m beautiful and sexy and I’m ready!” then boudoir may be for you. Boudoir isn’t just about the photos as it’s an emotional commitment as well. I know, because I’ve had my own session. It is something that may or may not affect you the way you imagined it would. I have had sessions that ended in (happy) tears, received letters telling me that it changed women in ways they never could have imagined and even ones that told me it saved their marriage. Not because the photos were beautiful, but because they were reaffirmed that they are beautiful and worthy and confident.
It’s okay to need a little time to work on your self confidence. Believe me, I still need to shut it down sometimes and tell myself to shut up or do something about it. The media is full of sex symbols and what society accepts as being beautiful and that is a constant reminder that we may not be good enough as is. Also, it’s not like you’re taking off your clothes in front of a stranger every day so no one expect it be completely natural and no one said it’s going to be easy. Put it on your bucket list, no one says you have to do it TODAY. Make it a fun goal to work towards and then reward yourself. I can promise you it will be worth it, but not until you’re ready. When you are, we’ll be here for you and would love to help you in your journey.