So I began shooting boudoir 3 years ago.  A lovely lady was in town from the UK and had hired me to take some lifestyle portraits of her.  She nervously asked me if I would also take a few of her in lingerie and explained that she would soon be turning 30, was in the best shape of her life, and wanted to document that.  I told her that I had never photographed a lady in lingerie before but to let me do a little research and see what I could do.  I wanted it to be classy and not trashy and I needed some pointers.  When I started my search, I found out that THIS is a THING.  A real thing that women are doing, and it’s called Boudoir!

We had her shoot and I had a blast!  It was so fun and laid back and nothing like I expected.  I can’t remember now what I expected but I think her confidence really helped ME to be confident.  It wasn’t awkward, she was very comfortable with her body and who she was and we had a really good time.  She allowed me to share a few photos and after doing so, I started to get random emails trickling in.  Women were interested and well, I was floored.  I scheduled my own session with a local photographer because if I was going to be serious about this, I needed to see what it was like for myself.  I needed to see how these women felt, how it looked from their perspective, and I needed to learn how to apply their feelings to the shoots.  After my shoot with Heather, I felt like I could rule the world.  I felt amazing and in that moment I knew that boudoir was what I wanted to do.  I knew that I wanted to give that feeling to other women.

Soon-after, Heather and I got together to do a few marathon sessions just to build our portfolios.  We offered discounted sessions to past female clients and surprisingly, we booked three weekends solid.  We hardly made any money off it but it just solidified that I had found my calling.  After sharing the photos of those women online, my business blossomed into what it is today.  I went into it knowing that there were  a couple of things that I had to offer.  One was styling (hair and makeup) because let’s face it, women don’t naturally walk around looking like supermodels in their undies, sad to say.  In a state where we feel so vulnerable, we also need to feel beautiful in order to feel confident.  I found a handful of amazing and talented makeup artists and my team was put together.   I also knew I wanted to have a certain look for my photos.  I wanted them to be sexy and powerful but always classy.  I spent countless hours researching poses, saving inspiration, learning how to pose different body types, etc.  I would not let my clients leave their session feeling used, but rather feeling powerful and inspired.  Lastly, I wanted everyone to feel welcome.  I did this in two ways.  One, I made sure I worked with the ladies who other photographers may have feared.  I worked with mothers, grandmothers, and plus sized ladies.  I also wasn’t afraid to turn women away when I could tell they just weren’t ready for this experience.  I know that may sound odd, but it is true that boudoir is not for everyone.  I can only work with what you bring me – I cannot turn you into something you’re not.  If you are not confident before your session then you will probably leave feeling even more worried about your image.  I want to offer nothing but the best to the ladies I work with and to me, losing a client is okay so long as that means she has a little more time to work on herself and call me when she’s confident and ready.

So here I am, three years later and knowing some of the most amazing women ever.  I have made new friends, cried with women, danced around at shoots, shared champagne and secrets, and I LOVE IT.  I never promised to change the world but I always wanted to do something that made a difference to someone and I feel like I’ve finally found it.

These shots are from two of my most recent shoots.

One of the things I hear most in women interested in booking a session is that they are concerned about their size.  They admit up front that they aren’t exactly a size 4 and although they have been working out and have lost some weight, they’re still not where they’d like to be.  They are still wanting to feel deserving and sexy though (who doesn’t?) and are just looking for reassurance that they, too, can feel like a goddess for a day.

This is a very good question and I don’t blame them for asking me.  After all, getting to know your photographer, feeling comfortable enough to confront her about a concern and making her aware of your concerns is vital for such an intimate shoot.  Not every photographer is comfortable with real women (ie: those that aren’t professional supermodels that know how to move without guidance and are shaped “perfectly” no matter what position they’re in) and it’s important to find those that are.  Honestly, my entire business model is around working with the everyday woman.  My main clientele are the 35+ mothers who are looking to get something back.  Sure, I also work with younger ladies whom are just getting married, or even those that are single, without children and just need a reminder of why they are amazing and sexy.  The basis of all of this though is that every single woman on this website is a real, everyday lady.  They are not models, nor professionals, and they probably had never pranced around in front of a camera in their undies before in their life.  THAT IS WHAT I WANT!  I want to guide you, show you, be there beside you posing (literally, I get in there) and make you feel comfortable.  I know for a fact that you cannot simply pose every woman the same way.  I work with all body shapes and sizes and I work with you to find the most flattering angle and show off the parts you love most.  I’m also on a mission to show you the part that you’re most concerned about in a way you’ve never seen it before.  From a different angle that proves that you really are beautiful, all of you, and you have nothing to worry about.

I photographed both of these women last weekend.  One on Saturday, one on Sunday.  We used the same location, but as you can see, they are shaped completely different.  Everything from height, shape, size, skin tone, hair, etc.  I knew this beforehand and with a little confidence from both of them, I proved that they are both sexy and amazing, just the way they were.  Size was not an issue and they both left feeling amazing and have since praised their images to the moon and back.

Body issues are a real concern and I’m not telling you that you’re wrong for having them.  I’m just reassuring you that they will not be an issue the day of your shoot and you will be photographed just the same as every other lady that walks through those doors – like the goddess you are!

During makeup, she, Jade and I all had great conversation (mostly about how disgusted we were with North Carolina right now and how Amendment One passed) and we caught up on a years worth of life.  We shot for a couple of hours and at the end she said – “Ok, so last year I did this as a reward for finishing P90X, this year I did it because I’m turning 40.  What comes next year?”  I said firmly, “You do it because it’s simply what you want to do”.

She becomes my clay when she comes to me.  We collaborate on ideas before her shoot, she brings some of the most amazing things to wear (step outside of VS and into smaller boutiques), and she trusts me to step it up.  She brought it again this year and we, once again, made some of my most favorite images ever.  This wasn’t about me, though.  After I showed her the first five images we took on the back of the camera she breathed a sigh of relief, relaxed and said “Ok, you’ve earned your money, now let’s play!”

So as I have mentioned before, I have been itching to do some personal work.  Not just for my portfolio and to flex my artistic muscle, but also to try out some new techniques.  Working every.single.day. leaves very little time to experiment and learn new crafts, both of which I crave with photography.  I  want to be able to offer as much as possible to my clients in way of style, lighting, composition, etc.

Sarah is actually a past client and I knew from the first time she emailed me and again at her actual shoot that she also had a creative brain.  She liked being different and creating more thought provoking imagery.  Since our first shoot where she was simply a client and I was her photographer, we have become quite good friends.  She sent me a message a few weeks ago about a gas mask and right in that moment, I knew I had found my soul sister.  Ever since I was a teenager I have wanted to do a shoot with a gas mask.  Don’t ask me why, I’ve just always thought it looked cool.  So I jumped on etsy and found this amazing gas mask, told Sarah it was ordered and this past weekend we met up to experiment.  A very awesome and sweet lady who will soon be a new client loaned us the location for the day and we had a blast.  We laughed a lot, I learned a lot (hopefully Sarah did as well, as she’s also getting into photography) and I came out with more knowledge than I went in with, which was the whole point.  Including that three breaths taken inside a gas mask will get you high.  Sorry, Sarah!

I cannot wait to share more images from our creative shoot which includes off camera lighting, shadows and a sexy vintage leather loveseat.

As for this being sexy and boudoir-esque – I am a firm believer that sexy comes from the inside.  If you wear something or have a quirky personality trait that makes you feel sexy, then I think you should work it.  It’s not all in the clothes, but the attitude and the inner confidence that makes one sexy.

I encourage everyone to learn something new this week or to take the time to do something you’ve been wanting to do.  Take the time to make that new recipe, jog that extra mile, buy that dress you’ve been eying or put the kids to bed early and set up a romantic night for your significant other.  Put some time aside for YOU and I promise the outcome will be worth it.

And this was just a silly behind the scenes photo.

]]> http://simply-boudoir.com/blog/2012/04/30/creative-collaboration-north-carolina-boudoir-photography/feed/ 1 http://simply-boudoir.com/blog/2012/04/24/vote-against-amendment-1-north-carolina-boudoir-photography/ http://simply-boudoir.com/blog/2012/04/24/vote-against-amendment-1-north-carolina-boudoir-photography/#comments Tue, 24 Apr 2012 19:57:10 +0000 Stacey http://simply-boudoir.com/blog/?p=1895 Some might argue that it’s best to leave politics out of business.  While I would usually agree, there is currently something happening in North Carolina that I am strongly against and I will use any platform to speak about it where I know people will listen.  Especially when my audience is mostly females that I know could be harmed should a law like this pass.

For those unaware, on May 8th in North Carolina, Amendment One, otherwise known as the Marriage Amendment, will be on the ballot for you to vote upon.  Written above this Amendment on the ballot, it says “Constitutional amendment to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.”  There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about this entire amendment, what it means, and what it stands for.  What is written on the ballot is there strictly for those not in the know about the facts on this amendment and quite frankly to scare them into thinking if they vote against it “OH NO!!!  THE GAYS WILL MARRY!”.

In short, it does NOT make gay marriage legal or illegal in North Carolina.  Actually, gay marriage is already illegal in North Carolina, and voting against this will NOT change that fact.  THIS is what most people fail to see.

So, what WILL this amendment mean? I have a lot of friends who have spoken out against it and posted things that they have found online (or written themselves) that I would like to share.  Just to make it known, I am FOR marriage of all couples everywhere, but I will be voting AGAINST Amendment One come May 8th for the reasons below, which affect me directly, in a heterosexual relationship and as a woman. Please take a moment below to look at and read about how Amendment One hurts women and families all over North Carolina.

How Amendment One hurts unmarried women in domestic violence cases.

This is written by a past client whom is a Wake Forest University School of Law Professor for the Interdisciplinary Study of Law Professor of Women’s and Gender Studies.

“You should vote “no” on Amendment One: Here’s why
…
The pertinent observation is that Amendment One is not about marriage. Perhaps the greatest lie of this election season, which we all know is full of lies and half-truths, is that it is. If the legislators giving us Amendment One had wanted to write a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, they could have done so in simple language. I’ll even suggest some language here: “Marriages between individuals of the same gender are not valid in North Carolina.” Incidentally, North Carolina already has a law that says just that, enacted in 1995. Clearly, if our legislators believe that a majority of us want a law banning gay marriage, they know how to write one. And yet, that is not what they’ve written in this instance. Instead, Amendment One, before voters on May 8th, says: “Marriage between a man and a woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.”

The principal problem with this language is that the phrase “domestic legal union” does not appear anywhere else—not once—in the North Carolina general statutes. So we don’t really know what kinds of “domestic unions” will be affected by Amendment One. But Amendment One’s vagueness makes its potential applications far greater than its propagandized limitations. The reality is that more heterosexuals will be affected by this Amendment than homosexuals. Here are some possibilities. Amendment One will first mean that unmarried heterosexuals receiving partner benefits from public employees can no longer receive those benefits. So if you are an unmarried heterosexual with a registered domestic partner for purposes of your public employer’s health insurance plan, you will no longer be able to carry a person to whom you are not married on your insurance.

Amendment One also substantially limits your ability to contract around marriage should you choose to do so. There are all sorts of reasons people who love each other do not get married. Seniors, especially, who may be widows or widowers, may choose not to marry because of complications with pensions or survivor benefits. The reasons people in love do not marry are many and, frankly, such people don’t owe the rest of us any explanations; most of us assume that we are free to love without marriage. So let’s imagine Bob and Sue love each other and live together for many years. For reasons sufficiently important to them, they do not marry. Nevertheless, they want to execute agreements about how their assets will be divided should their relationship end. Currently, under North Carolina law, they can do so. If Amendment One becomes law, they cannot.

Similarly, Bob may want to give Sue his healthcare power of attorney. Currently, he can do so. After Amendment One, he cannot. Or let us imagine that Bob and Sue have lived together for many years and Bob wants to leave Sue a piece of property in his will, perhaps the very house they have shared during their lives together. Let’s also imagine that Bob has relatives who would like to have his house after he dies. Currently, absent some showing of fraud or coercion, these relatives would have a difficult time setting aside Bob’s bequest to Sue. But in a North Carolina where Amendment One is law, Bob’s relatives need only claim that Bob made his bequest to Sue because he loved her. A court could then void the bequest because it was the result of a domestic union that was not a marriage, the recognition of which would violate North Carolina’s (new) public policy. In this new North Carolina, Bob would have an easier time leaving his house to his cat than to the woman he loved. These scenarios seem absurd, and they are. Yet this is the North Carolina that Amendment One’s proponents in our state’s legislature are trying to create.

These scenarios might seem simply ridiculous to readers who do not believe they will be affected by Amendment One’s long arm. So to those readers I pose this question: Would you want to live in a North Carolina in which your daughter could be beaten up or otherwise abused by her boyfriend but could not obtain a domestic violence protective order restraining him? In Ohio, for example, where an anti-gay marriage amendment significantly more precise than the proposed N.C. amendment (and thus less open to bizarre judicial interpretations) passed in 2004, prosecutors and judges interpreted the “pro-marriage” amendment to do just that. For a three year period, women and children endangered by “domestic partners” had no recourse to the law. Finally, the Ohio Supreme Court held that the amendment could not be used to deprive a class of people of the law’s protection. But that ultimate decision does not make up for the broken lives and broken bones that accrued in the meantime. If you are somehow of the impression that North Carolina’s elected judges will be more reasonable than Ohio’s judges, then you have likely had little contact with our justice system. In any event, are you willing to bet on your daughter’s life?

These concerns are acute for me because I am a lawyer. Of course, there is no requirement that North Carolina’s legislators be lawyers. And yet they cannot claim to be ignorant of the problems the Amendment poses, because many of us have been telling them for months. In response, they’ve gotten on TV or in the newspapers and called us lunatics or liars or both. They know the problems. We’ve told them. They know that many of the problems I’ve just pointed out to you have, in fact, occurred in other states with better drafted laws. The only conclusions I can draw from this about Amendment One’s legislative supporters is that they are either incredibly dim or they hate gays so much that they are willing to live with the collateral damage to everyone else. Neither possibility commends them as responsible legislators.

If you want an Amendment that bans same-sex marriage, demand that your legislators give you one. This is not that Amendment. The potential damaging and far-reaching consequences are too great. Vote “no,” and make them start again.”

This law could also take an adopted child out of a loving family and place it back into foster care should your significant other die and you weren’t married.

Were you aware that should you be in a committed relationship with a man or woman that had adopted a child before you were together, you raise the child together as it’s your own for years in a loving home, and then something happens to your significant other (this could be in a gay or straight relationship), your child could be taken away and placed back into foster care?  Not only that, but that child could also lose all medical coverage should the couple raising it not be married.  That is just one of the fears this couple in Greensboro, North Carolina faces should this law pass.