I know, a boudoir blog talking about Father’s Day? Hear me out…
I know there may be a few men that check in on this blog every now and again and I just wanted to wish you a Happy Father’s Day. Please remember, you have the chance to hang the moon for your children (especially your daughters). Do it. The pain never gets easier to deal with after losing a father that did just that.
This will be my 4th Father’s Day without my father, as he passed away in July of 2007 after losing his battle with cancer. My father hung the moon for me and well, set a pretty damn high standard for any man that should ever be welcome in my life. He was a hard worker, a family man, a care taker. I am 100% my father’s child – from my looks to my completely raw emotions. We both cry at the drop of a hat when something strikes us as sad. We both care so deeply that we feel the pain of others, or the happiness they are experiencing. I used to think these bare emotions were a curse but now, I am glad to know that I carry them because they were handed onto me from one of the best men that has ever lived. From being a well respected Sheriff in our town to the smaller things that I remember from my childhood – he always put others first. I’ll never forget the winter when our entire family had the flu. There was a large snow storm, power was out, and my mom was at her wits end. My father, also down with the flu, walked to the barn and carried back two baby goats for my sister and I to play with in the kitchen just long enough for my mother to get some rest. I remember the one time that he was so fed up with me (I don’t remember what I had done now, I was probably only 5-6), he told me to go to the tree and bring back the switch he would whip me with. Of course I chose the smallest one, not realizing it would hurt the most. His hands were shaking so badly at the thought of hurting me that he threw that he laughed and threw that switch down and sat me down to teach me a lesson instead. I respected him so much for that. I learned the lesson of disappointment that day and that you have the option of how to live your life knowing that your actions effect those around you.
It never gets easier. The pain never goes away. You learn how make it through the day, and until someone has lost a parent whom they love to the moon and back, you can never really understand how deep and dark that void is. It will never be filled, nor do I want it to be. I know my father would be thrilled knowing that I have made a living doing something that I love and that makes me smile. All he ever wanted was a simply yet happy life for us. He taught me not to ask for much and to be grateful for everything that comes my way. I am so eternally grateful for where I am today, because of each of you. You make it all come full circle. You make me realize that my father is so proud of me, still. Thank you.
I love this picture. I took it the Spring before daddy passed away. The first time Andy met him, as we left the house, daddy told him – “Take care of my baby”. ”I will”, Andy said. Acceptance. He loved Andy, and that made all right in the world. He was such a ham and never afraid to step in front of my camera as I was learning photography through high school. This picture just shows his silly nature of mocking Andy’s haircut. Two of the best men to ever grace my life. Happy Father’s Day, daddy. I love you.